[ You and Vax. Oof. That's significant, knowing what he does about Vax and Keyleth. It only makes him want to move closer to her, so he does, just enough that his knee bumps hers. ]
I would be okay with whatever makes you happy. Whether that is two people or ten people, it is all the same to me, so long as our commitment remains.
[ Caleb is not so new at this, at least, which is definitely for the best. Things tend to be less messy if at least one person knows what they're about. ]
I have always had more than one partner, and jealousy is rare for me. Here especially I understand that relationships can be complicated.
Oh! That's--that's really good, actually. I'm still learning, so... [she shrugs her one shoulder again.]
At home--and it probably still is, I feel like things are just...different here--my plan was always just to wait for Vax, you know, and...I still feel like...I don't know. There's a, a thing happening, a...triangle? But it feels...mutual. But i don't--I wouldn't...I don't know.
[she laughs a little]
All I really want is to feel special and valued and like I...like I matter very much to my partner, because my partner matters very much to me. Does that make sense? I don't want to feel like an afterthought. But I don't think you'd make me feel as such.
[ Just trying to be reassuring! Honestly, what she's referring to (he thinks) is what he prefers, but circumstances have forced some branching out. ]
It makes perfect sense. I think that is what most people want from their partners, myself included. And I cannot promise perfection, or even that I am good at relationships, but I can say that I would always value you, and do my best to show it. That is what you deserve.
[her guilt is strong and immediate, but she tries to push through.]
...that when i want things, and I ask for them--which is hard enough--I am told that i have to compromise in some way. It would be nice to, um, have to feel less like I'm compromising all the time, in a relationship. You know?
[she immediately regrets it, and is sort of looking for an exit strategy. running away and never speaking to Caleb again is looking more appealing by the second.
she stays.]
I meant...I meant if it gets to that. To a relationship? It would just be nice to...to feel like...never mind. I'm sorry. I know you--I'm happy to wait for you. That isn't what I meant.
[ He is, genuinely. This isn't a conversation where he should be assuming he knows anything. ]
I don't want to promise things I am not sure I can fulfill. But I do want to...to do what I can to make sure you are happy and content, no matter what sort of relationship we have.
Ja, there is. I need your reassurance that we will continue to spend time together as we have been. How else will we know each other better?
[ Caleb offers a thin smile and a squeeze of her hand, fingers threaded together. He also glances significantly toward the ray of warm sunshine stretching across the floor from the open window. ]
For a start, that seems like a good spot for a catnap.
[ His stomach definitely flips a little. All of her casual affection is so sweet. ]
Little, definitely. There's only so much sunbeam.
[ With a gesture and a few murmured words, Caleb's form shifts. A cat that could be Frumpkin's twin but for a pair of bright blue eyes rather than amber jumps down from the couch, tail up and trotting to the square of warm sunlight washed across the floor. ]
[the cat that she transforms into is surprisingly not orange--she's always liked a sort of dilute tortie look, probably because they're as spicy as she wants to be. Cat-Keyleth nuzzles affectionately against Cat-Caleb before following him, tail twitching, to the patch of sun, stretching out peacefully.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-06-30 04:43 am (UTC)I would be okay with whatever makes you happy. Whether that is two people or ten people, it is all the same to me, so long as our commitment remains.
[ Caleb is not so new at this, at least, which is definitely for the best. Things tend to be less messy if at least one person knows what they're about. ]
I have always had more than one partner, and jealousy is rare for me. Here especially I understand that relationships can be complicated.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-30 04:59 am (UTC)At home--and it probably still is, I feel like things are just...different here--my plan was always just to wait for Vax, you know, and...I still feel like...I don't know. There's a, a thing happening, a...triangle? But it feels...mutual. But i don't--I wouldn't...I don't know.
[she laughs a little]
All I really want is to feel special and valued and like I...like I matter very much to my partner, because my partner matters very much to me. Does that make sense? I don't want to feel like an afterthought. But I don't think you'd make me feel as such.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 02:40 am (UTC)[ Just trying to be reassuring! Honestly, what she's referring to (he thinks) is what he prefers, but circumstances have forced some branching out. ]
It makes perfect sense. I think that is what most people want from their partners, myself included. And I cannot promise perfection, or even that I am good at relationships, but I can say that I would always value you, and do my best to show it. That is what you deserve.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 05:48 am (UTC)I can't promise I'll be perfect, either. I'm...I have no experience, I'm still just learning.
I have one other thing? But I don't quite know how to explain it.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 10:28 am (UTC)I'm listening. Do your best, and we will figure it out.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 01:36 am (UTC)[her guilt is strong and immediate, but she tries to push through.]
...that when i want things, and I ask for them--which is hard enough--I am told that i have to compromise in some way. It would be nice to, um, have to feel less like I'm compromising all the time, in a relationship. You know?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:29 am (UTC)I don't think I have ever experienced a relationship, romantic or otherwise, where compromise was not necessary.
But I understand what you are saying. If I could give you what you asked for today, I would.
[ He shakes his head ruefully. ]
There are things that I can't rush, and trying would only hurt us both. I am sorry. Truly.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 07:11 am (UTC)[she immediately regrets it, and is sort of looking for an exit strategy. running away and never speaking to Caleb again is looking more appealing by the second.
she stays.]
I meant...I meant if it gets to that. To a relationship? It would just be nice to...to feel like...never mind. I'm sorry. I know you--I'm happy to wait for you. That isn't what I meant.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-14 02:25 am (UTC)[ He is, genuinely. This isn't a conversation where he should be assuming he knows anything. ]
I don't want to promise things I am not sure I can fulfill. But I do want to...to do what I can to make sure you are happy and content, no matter what sort of relationship we have.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-14 02:59 am (UTC)[she's quiet for a little while. She still kind of wants to bolt, but again suppresses the urge. Stays.]
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Is there anything you need from me?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-14 03:22 am (UTC)[ Caleb offers a thin smile and a squeeze of her hand, fingers threaded together. He also glances significantly toward the ray of warm sunshine stretching across the floor from the open window. ]
For a start, that seems like a good spot for a catnap.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-15 03:35 am (UTC)Yes, of course. That's easy--I planned on it anyway.
[her eyes follows his toward the sunbeam]
Oh, how'd you know, cat naps are my favorite.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-17 11:42 pm (UTC)I guessed. [ It's so easy, as usual, to return her smile. ] They're mine too.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-18 03:20 am (UTC)big cats or little?
no subject
Date: 2021-07-18 09:26 pm (UTC)Little, definitely. There's only so much sunbeam.
[ With a gesture and a few murmured words, Caleb's form shifts. A cat that could be Frumpkin's twin but for a pair of bright blue eyes rather than amber jumps down from the couch, tail up and trotting to the square of warm sunlight washed across the floor. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 03:25 am (UTC)[the cat that she transforms into is surprisingly not orange--she's always liked a sort of dilute tortie look, probably because they're as spicy as she wants to be. Cat-Keyleth nuzzles affectionately against Cat-Caleb before following him, tail twitching, to the patch of sun, stretching out peacefully.]